Hen Night Poem

To All the Boys Tracey's Loved Before
(words re-written to "To All the Girls I've Loved Before"

To all the boys Tracey's loved before
Who’ve sneaked in through her mothers door
We dedicate this song
This versions very long
To all the boys she’s loved before

Her first felly was William Much
He wasn’t a real boyfriend as such
She got a wee thrill
With a fumble on a hill
To all the boys she’s loved before

It wasn’t long till she got older
And she got herself a man
She met him down the ice rink
It was such a silly plan

She loved him so, there were some tears
He was baldy with two cauliflower ears
I think his name was Frank
He was built just like a tank
To all the boys she’s loved before

She once had a holiday romance
It was clear they didn’t stand a chance
His name was Mike or Mick
He had gold teeth and was a Prick
To all the boys she’s loved before

You know she’s had some famous crushes
When her love life has been swervy
Mark Owen we’ll let her off with
But Sid James is just pure pervy

She settled for a while with Paul Scott
Their relationships seemed to mean a lot
She thought their love wouldn’t falter
He practically bumped her at the alter
To all the boys she’s loved before

On her five year plan she’s wiser and older
She’s got herself a real life soldier
Now she’s going to live her life
As Brian Watson's wife
And forget the boys she’s loved before.